


You Have To Admit, He'd Look Pretty Good In A Nurse Uniform

by animenutcase



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Gen, Spoilers, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animenutcase/pseuds/animenutcase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yet another fill for the Dangan Ronpa kink meme. "After consuming ill-prepared food, everyone but Naegi comes down with a nasty case of food poisoning. With Monobear refusing to help at all (okay he gave Naegi a recipe for chicken soup but that's about it), it's fallen to the SHSL Luckster to be everyone's nurse. Along with making sure everyone's fed and getting appropriate rest, Neagi needs to deal with everyone's 'sickness quirks' (Togami getting surprisingly clingy, Ishimaru trying to do his morning routine despite being ill, Hagakure making insane enough to be true predictions, ect.)</p><p>Something fluffy but hilarious is what I'm looking for, but if anyone wants to take this in a different direction you are free to do so."</p><p>Some spoilers for the end of the game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Have To Admit, He'd Look Pretty Good In A Nurse Uniform

“Since you’re the only one who’s not about to vomit out their internal organs, I am hereby granting you the temporary title of Super High School-Level Nurse!” Monobear declared.  
“But…” Naegi paused. “Isn’t there already someone with that title? I can’t remember what her name was exactly, though. I think it was something kind of fruity…”

“Do you see anyone with medical experience here?” Monobear scoffed. “Because I don’t!”  
“Then how do you think I’ll do any better!?”  
“I dunno.” Monobear shrugged. “But you will if you know what’s good for you!”

Before Naegi could protest further, Monobear disappeared. He let out a groan as he made his way toward the dorm hall. He supposed it couldn’t hurt to check on the others. When he noticed Ishimaru in the hallway, he brightened. At least Ishimaru seemed to be feeling better!

…At least, that’s what Naegi thought until he got a closer look.

Ishimaru was clearly barely able to walk.

“Ah!” He smiled weakly at Naegi. “Good morning, Naegi-kun! It pleases me to see you’ve taken my words on the importance of prudence to heart!”  
“Don’t you mean punctuality?” Naegi groaned to himself.  
“Of course I did!” Ishimaru nodded firmly. “What did I say?”  
“You should probably go back to bed, Ishimaru-kun.” Naegi ignored the question and put his hand on Ishimaru’s forehead. “You’re sick.”  
“Nonsense, Naegi-kun!” Ishimaru swatted Naegi’s hand away. “It would be in bad form for me to sleep in, especially considering my position! Our classmates need someone to lead by example!”

“Your clothes are drenched in sweat!” Naegi protested. “Get back to bed.”  
“But-”  
“Is it the job of a Super High School-Level Hall Monitor to lead his fellow students to ignore their health, too? Expose them to illness when they could have simply stayed in bed until they were healthy?”

Finally, Ishimaru stared at his feet, looking almost like a pouting child as he mumbled.

“…no.”  
“Then get back to bed!” Naegi exclaimed as Ishimaru finally opened the door to his room. “Take off those wet clothes and get some rest. Don’t let me catch you out and about until you’re better.”

Next, he went to check on Maizono.

“Naegi-kuuun.” She moaned when she opened the door. “I’m out of tissues.”  
“I-I’ll get mine, just hold on a minute.” Naegi quickly made his way to his own room to grab his box of tissues.

There was snot dribbling down to Maizono’s chin. Not a pretty picture.

“Thank you, Naegi-kun!” Maizono smiled sweetly before raising a tissue to her face and giving a rather ungraceful blow.

“Just… get some rest, okay?”

Kuwata’s room was just across the hall. Before he knocked, he heard a loud coughing. Naegi thought for a moment before making his way to the infirmary. Once he found the medicine he was looking for, he went back to Kuwata’s room.

“Yo.” Kuwata gave him a weak greeting. “You brought some medicine for me?”  
“Yes.” Naegi smiled back as he pulled it out of his pocket.  
“Wait. Is that powdered medicine?” Kuwata’s eyes were suddenly wide and alert.  
“…yes?” Naegi answered slowly.  
“No.” was all Kuwata said. “I’m not taking it.”  
“Kuwata-kun, you need to take this medicine if you want to get better.”  
“No.”  
“Kuwata-kun, take the medicine.”  
“No!”

Not in the mood to argue, Naegi wrestled Kuwata to the bed and forced the medicine down his throat, quietly grateful for the soundproof rooms. If someone were to hear and see what the commotion was about, they’d undoubtedly get the wrong idea.

Finally, Naegi got off of Kuwata, who was gagging and cursing, and left the room.

Fujisaki had been working on a laptop when Naegi walked in the room and did not appear to be in the mood to stop. Naegi opted to confiscate the laptop and ordered Fujisaki to bed.

“Maizono-chi’s gonna die first, I just know it!” Hagakure rambled to himself as Naegi handed him the medicine.  
“Saying she’s going to die is a bit much, don’t you think?” Naegi raised an eyebrow. “She just has a cold.”  
“Naw, she’s gonna be killed!” Hagakure shook his head. “I’m calling it!”

“Of course!” Yamada nodded. “She seems like the type to be the main heroine, but perhaps she’s just a red herring.”  
“This isn’t a mystery novel, Yamada-kun.” Naegi sighed. “Just please get some rest.”

When Asahina didn’t answer Naegi’s knock, he opened the door to find that she wasn’t there. He considered checking Oogami’s room when an idea occurred to him. He rushed to the cafeteria to find her in the kitchen trying to make doughnuts.

“It’ll be fine!” Asahina protested. “I’m hungry, and I’m sure everyone else will appreciate them, too!”  
“Yes, because who doesn’t like doughnuts made by a girl breathing germs all over the ingredients.” Naegi muttered to himself as he pushed her back to her room. “I’ll make something for everyone, so please get back to bed!”  
“You’re so sweet, Naegi!” Asahina pulled him into a tight hug abruptly pulling away.

Before Naegi could react, Asahina had emptied the contents of her stomach on his clothes. And the floor.

"Oh, geez!" Asahina gasped.  
"It's fine, just... Just go clean yourself up and get to bed."

After taking a shower and cleaning up the vomit, Naegi made his way back to kitchen to try to make something. The question was, what was he supposed to make?

“The standard food for sick people is chicken soup!” Monobear popped up as Naegi mused this aloud.  
“My granny’s got the best recipe!”

“You know, if you’re so good at knowing how to take care of sick people, maybe you should be doing this instead of me.” Naegi frowned as he accepted the recipe card.  
“No can do!” Monobear laughed. “Just keep it up, Naegi-kun! Be strong for mother!”

He disappeared before Naegi could ask what the hell he meant by that last bit.

It took an hour, but Naegi finally prepared several bowls of soup. As he made his way through the dorm hall, he ran into Ishimaru again.

“ **BED. NOW.** ” He growled as he handed Ishimaru a bowl.

Oogami had thankfully accepted her bowl of soup and medicine without any trouble.

Fukawa, meanwhile, had refused to even open her door, saying that Naegi just wanted to get a look at the sick girl and laugh in her face, but Naegi did notice that the bowl and medicine he'd left for her had disappeared when he returned from giving Hagakure and Yamada their soup.

Celes had pouted.

"Did you at least pour some milk into it?" She whined. "That's how I've always taken my chicken soup."

Naegi swallowed his groan and made his way to the kitchen to get milk.

Oowada insisted that he didn't need any chicken soup.

"A real man sucks it up and waits it o-"

Naegi wasn't sure what sort of expression he'd made, but apparently it was enough to make Oowada meekly accept the soup and medicine.

Kirigiri stared at the bowl of soup for several seconds before she finally accepted it and thanked him.

Togami had demanded that Naegi feed him by hand.

"I'd rather not." Naegi shook his head.  
"Why not!?" Togami had latched onto him.  
"My character is the kind "Average Joe" type, but there are things that even I won't do." Naegi said firmly as he slowly pushed Togami's arms off of him.

Or so he said. When he went to give Enoshima her soup, she was completely out of it. She kept apologizing to him and referring to herself in the third person as "Junko-chan". It was pretty obvious that she wouldn't be able to feed herself, so Naegi had had to do it for her.

It was a long couple days, but eventually, everyone felt well enough to make their way to the gymanasium.

"Thanks for taking care of us when we were sick, Naegi-kun!" Maizono chirped.  
"Yeah, I guess I sort of owe you one." Kuwata rubbed his head. "I guess."

When Naegi didn't answer, Maizono looked concerned.

"Naegi-kun?"

Her answer came when Naegi drew back and vomited all over the floor before taking a few more steps back so that he wouldn't collapse in his own vomit.

"What the fuck!?" Oowada yelled.  
"Oops!" Monobear popped up. "Looks like he wasn't careful about keeping himself quarantined!"  
"Weren't you the one who ordered him to take care of us, though?" Asahina yelled.  
"That's right!" Monobear laughed. "And since he got sick from exposure to you guys, that means if he ends up dying, it'll be because of all of you! You'll all be considered his killers!"  
"What!?" Hagakure nearly dropped his crystal ball in shock.  
"I guess you guys'll just have to make sure he doesn't!" Monobear added before disappearing. "Good luck!"

As he drifted out of consciousness, Naegi silently prayed that death would come quick.


End file.
